Parenting is hard and long, then they leave and you want all the time back. Which side of this are you? How can we infuse a bit of the opposite side into our current thinking?

Currently Pam and I are in the long and hard portion. Pam just posted on Facebook a good brief view of craziness.

Is it just me or are two of the most challenging times of the day getting the kids ready in the morning and getting them ready for bed? “Focus Kohl focus. What do you need to do next Sweetie? Why is your shirt on backwards? Why have you pushed out half of the toothpaste? Why do you have both feet in one leg of your pants? Why are you putting both socks on one foot? Why are you washing the wall with soap?”

Welcome to the Feather household. As much as I love my kids, bedtime is a bear. I want to like it. I want to be able to pray and rejoice in God’s goodness, but often at that moment I am just trying to survive with my sanity. All of you probably have glorious times of putting your kids to bed, thanking God for such obedient children. I’m glad for you. For me the hour before bed is like me getting closer and closer to being tortured. It is waiting for those who hold me captive to come and get me, taking me to the rack for a good stretching. Only slight exaggeration there.

What makes this time so frustrating? It is simple, really. I want my way and my children want something completely different. Why bedtime? Because we have a deadline that I am trying to meet and all of their energies converge to miss that deadline.

So how is this a gospel moment? Let me count the ways.

1. My kids are sinners, just like me. I don’t know why I get amnesia and think that things are going to go smoothly, but often I assume without any extra work on my part that they will just wise up and stop their actions. Not gonna happen. They come from me. They get their disobedience honestly. The faster I recognize my own sinfulness and the need for God’s grace in my life, the more the gospel is dictating my response to them.

2. I have an agenda. Most often when I am frustrated over something, it is because I have a plan and whatever is frustrating me is simply getting in the way of my plan. I want a calm, restful bedtime for my kids and then to be able to go work on what I want. This is just a tiny little bit selfish, don’t you think? I can have a plan, as long as I realize that God’s plan trumps mine. If my children are particularly squirrelly one evening, God must want me to pay more attention to them. My plan goes out the window and I embrace God’s plan. At least this is how it is supposed to work. Pray for me.

3. My frustrated response. It is going to bother me that things don’t go my way, but my frustration shows that I am unwilling to die to self. I hold on to my ideas so much that even when given the opportunity to bend toward God’s, I fight against it. Not too different than my children fighting against me. I am the child and I am typically unwilling to give up my longings.

There are more ways this hour each night can be a gospel moment, but right now these are my focus. What would you add? Are there ways you fight this?

Tags: bedtime, frustration, Gospel, struggles