Here is the second letter in the series. If you missed the first one and explanation, check it out for an idea of what is happening.

James and Lily,

I was so happy to hear from you. I miss you tremendously and almost cannot bear this pain without being able to talk to you personally. You have been there from the beginning when God turned my life upside down. But, it is causing me to trust in God’s comfort. Thanks for reminding me about 2 Corinthians 1 last time. It feels like I am going insane, but I know God is there. Continue to pray for me. Some days I still don’t want to get out of bed. When I do get out of bed on those days, I just cry most of the day. Not all my days are like this, but I am always feeling this weight of pain. Everything reminds me of Grace and Luke and that is so painful. Will God eventually take these feelings away? I hope so. I pray for that often. It just hurts so much.

As I said in the last letter, I am looking for something else to read. I have been pouring through Scripture and it is helping more than anything else, but sometimes I just need a break. I need something else to read too. I hope that makes sense and doesn’t sound anti-God. Is it wrong for me to long to read something else too?

Anyway, I would love to read The Shack if you think it could help. You are right about the rest of the Christian community. People really seem to hate that book for some reason. I met a guy today at the bookstore who could not believe I was going to read it. I asked him what he thought when he read it and he looked at me like I had three eyes. He said he would “never read something so offensive to God.” How does he know if it is so offensive if he never read it? By the way, I already picked up a copy of the book, so don’t worry about sending it to me. With your present situation, it is probably easier for me to get it than for you to send it. I had an easier day yesterday and went out to pick it up.

I started reading it already. It is a bit slow at the beginning. Are your sure this is a good pick for right now? It is a little strange with the note in the mailbox from “Papa.” I guess I will give it a little bit more time. I don’t even know the story (kind of amazing isn’t it since this book has been out for so long.)

The whole “Papa” thing made me think about if it was ok to call God that. It sounds a little too personal for me and not reverent enough. I knew a guy in college who was a Christian and I went with him to a college group once even though I didn’t believe. When he prayed, he called God “daddy.” That has always stuck with me. Is that ok? It just sounds weird, like I am bringing God down to my level.

Well, I am going to go read some more. How are we going to do this discussion? I have never done something like this before, especially through letters.

Still struggling, but I am trusting day-by-day,

Tim

Tags: Gospel, pain, Papa, suffering